Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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