So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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