I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
