shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
