were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
