Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My liver just had a heart attack.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
