tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
