apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
