oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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