Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
