he wants to bone in the snuggie
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
