So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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