I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
