I think I won the penis lottery.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
