Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
