I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
