Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Randomize
