3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
