the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
