Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
