so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
