please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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