there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
