I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
