are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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