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I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
