Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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