I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
BRING THE BAGELS
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Who died my cat blue again?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
