Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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