Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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