So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I need water and some morals
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
