if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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