just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
