You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
