she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
