her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
