Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
