i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
