"it" just moved
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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