That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
