She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Randomize
