How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
