I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
