If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
