Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
