I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
smell my finger.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
