How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
