O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
