I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
