Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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