Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
