If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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