What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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