Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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