why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
