Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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