end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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