Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
