Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
