dude i'm inner monologue high
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
